


The Queen

by Kikimay



Category: Angel: the Series, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Buffy the Vampire Slayer (Comics)
Genre: F/F, F/M, Future Fic, M/M, Post: s05e22 Not Fade Away, post: s07e22 Chosen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-01-01
Updated: 2014-08-30
Packaged: 2018-01-07 01:02:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 19
Words: 17,787
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1113640
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kikimay/pseuds/Kikimay
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Alternative Season Eight: Buffy is the general of the slayers’ army, aided by the powerful witch Willow. A new Big Bad is coming for Buffy and for what she loves the most.</p><p>This fic takes place in 2008, four years after the ending of Angel. Things have changed for our heroes. Some characters, for example Simone Doffler and Renee, are taken from the comics (Season Eight) but you can read this fic without any knowledge of DH comics, because I won't consider it so much either. Basically this is a future!fic based on the question: what happens after Chosen?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> All the characters belong to Joss Whedon and those who own the rights. I use them only for non-profit fangirlism. The OC (Original Characters) definitely belong to me: Klaus, The Mercurial, Roxane, Kostas, Cassandra, Stella and Annie are mine.
> 
>  
> 
> This is mainly a Buffy/Spike fic, because I had to put together my favorite straight couple and imagine their relationship on a new level, after the destructive passion of sixth season and the intimate understanding of the seventh. Matters of the heart in a romantic sense are only one aspect of the story. There will be a nice mix of action, mystery, angst, as required in the Buffyverse. 
> 
>  
> 
> THANKS TO: Slaymesoftly for her precious help with the English grammar. Me not so good, but I think I'm improving my skills.

 

**Queen** : female ruler of State  
( _Gyne_ , greek for " _woman_ ")

 

 

 

  
In the silence of the empty room, the click of a switch and a sea of white. Buffy squeezed her eyes shut, annoyed. The brightness of the light was reflected on the floor so violently, unbearably.

After rubbing her temples, the slayer patted her face with perfumed moisturizer. The swollen eyelids revealed an afternoon of laziness; her determined expression the years lived and the struggles faced. Killing demons was not so good for the skin.  
Unwillingly, Buffy started her makeup.

She decided to experiment with a dark gray eye shadow that was immediately corrected with a warmer, softer shade. She was brunette now, and pastel colors were so inappropriate. Armed with a pencil, the slayer marked the curve of her eyes, correcting the touch with her fingers. Expertly, she applied the eyeliner; let down her hair and animated her lips with a bright pink lipstick.

The shirt she was wearing, silky and green, made her feel more secure. Satisfied, elegant, and beautiful, Buffy grabbed the Scythe and walked out the door.

 

 

 

  
_“Don’t let them escape! Kill them all!”_

The cemetery was brightly lit by Willow’s powerful spell, the dea ex machina guiding the young slayers to victory.

The girls had taken the offensive against a gang of vampiric lawyers that had been sowing panic in the streets of Los Angeles for months. The nightly attack was orchestrated to concentrate the enemies in a single cemetery, sealed by mystical ritual. The Chosen One in the front row cut off the heads of young and ambitious bloodsuckers.

"Don’t let them escape! The spell will last for a little while,” cried Buffy, more energetic than ever, determined to leave behind only dust.

Faster, she caught up with the new Los Angeles’ Master. Jumping from stone to stone, she pinned him to the ground and impaled his heart with the stake. The young slayers surrounded her victoriously. The mission had ended in the best way and the wounded were about to be transported to the nearest health center.

Buffy walked away, leaving the Scythe to be raised in to the sky by the girls.

Willow approached her. "You were great," she said proudly. "You’re like the queen of the Amazons!"

Buffy laughed, cleaning her dirty face. "I'm going home," she said.

"Don’t you want to go out and celebrate? Have a few drinks? Get a bit tipsy?”

"I’ll skip it for tonight. Anyway, you know how bad alcohol is for me!"  
"But that's the best part, being silly and carefree!"

"Nah, you go. Don’t treat poor Xander too bad and call me in the morning."  
"If you say so."

The slayer picked up her trusty weapon and took her leave with a silent gesture. Willow followed her to the exit of the cemetery, looking at her affectionately.

_"Happy birthday, my friend.”_

  
_19 January 2008_

 


	2. 1. The Queen

 

 

 

 

The next morning, Buffy woke up early, with a headache and a mood that could scare the devils in hell. And she knew them, personally. Pushing her face into the pillow, she went up on all fours; a deep anxiety gripped her stomach. Maybe a hot shower would calm her down.

Hot, hottest.

 

 

One hour in advance of the ordinary opening, Buffy walked through the halls of the  _Giles Center for Research and Training_  - her heels hit the ground rhythmically. She wasn’t obliged to be punctual. She knew that no one could complain to her; she was on top.

Over time, however, she had learned to assume small necessary duties so she didn’t lose sight of those more frightening and enormous.

Like her, Willow was also early. Bored, she had begun to play with two sharp shuriken, hurting herself.

" _Ouch!"_

"That will teach you not to play with weapons!" stated the Slayer, closing the door of her office. As director of the Centre, she had asked for a nice room with view of the skyline of LA.

"I wanted to observe them better," groaned her sulky friend.

Patiently, Buffy tried to wipe Willow’s cut with denatured alcohol. "What brings you here so early?"

"I could ask you the same question!" retorted Willow. "I was training in suspended meditation. It helps me to calibrate the energy."

"At dawn? You calibrate energies at dawn?!"

"Of course."

"Oh, of course! What a question! Come on, tell me about the vamps."

"The slayers have surveyed the pier area; it appears that the they are still preparing for the apocalypse."

"They didn’t let themselves be intimidated by our attack, did they?"

"On the contrary. Because the vamps are afraid that you'r going to thwart their plan, they decided to stop messing around and start the damn world ending."  

"Pretty much what we expected, isn’t it?"

"You’ve become invincible." Willow said proudly. "There is no plan of attack that fails, your leadership is pretty much established. Nobody, not even Faith, would dare to question your choices, even if they involve great sacrifices."

"I don’t want to risk the girls’ lives," Buffy replied. "I don’t care about absolute power - they’ve have offered it to me many times, and I’ve always refused. What I want is for the army to follow some guidelines. I see our purpose clearly, and I don’t want to destroy everything we've built."

"Are you referring to  _Simone Doffler?"_

"Not just her. I seem to be the only one who understand the importance of some discipline, maybe because I have more experience than the others."

"You're not the only one. You just have to involve every member of the army in the your project."

"Like it’s that easy!" The Slayer sighed, closing her eyes. "God, how old we sound now, when we make these speeches!"

The witch chuckled with amusement as she walked to the exit.  _On air_.

"You don’t take stairs anymore, right?"

"Flying is more fun! Remember, Buffy, at half past five p.m., the old abandoned station. You'll have to educate a very bad vampire."

"I will."

 

 

 

The departure hall of the station was filled with the unbearable stench of mold and dust. Masonry, bent lintels and pieces of concrete were all lying on the ground. The track, now non-existent, mingled with the wreckage of the trains. Just a big bronze clock was left in its place - tall and proud, it dominated the destruction below.

"Tell you what, you tell me everything now and I—"

"What? You won’t kill me? I know you, Slayer. I won’t say a fucking word!"

Buffy, surrounded by her young assistants, was interrogating a battered vampire, that was tied to a chair and being threatened with a stake and holy water. Impatient and tired, she rubbed her sweaty temples, walking in circles to calm her nerves.

"When were you sired, Mike?"

"My name is Antares."

"Huh?"

"Antares, like the star!"

"How original! When were you sired,  _Antares_?"

The vampire frowned doubtfully. "End of the nineties, I think."

"End of the nineties, well..." Buffy leaned over to face him. "Do you know what I was doing in those years?"

Antares swallowed unnecessarily. "What?"

"I was making dust out of people like you. I became pretty good, you know? My point is this: how much do you want to suffer before I sink the stake through your heart? For your and my ears’ sake, you should talk. Now!"

"I don’t—"

_"Ontares!"_

"Okay, okay ... I ..."

A tremendous roar broke the silence.

Buffy had time to record the noise before bending, crouching with the body of the vampire. The shield of dust vanished soon and the slayer had to dive behind a pile of rubble. With bowed head, she tried to respond to the attack. "Girls," She cried. "Are you all right? What was that?"

"A bomb, ma'am," Said someone. "We're fine, Maggie and I!"

Buffy looked up and saw a girl standing with a iron pipe buried in her chest. She pulled her down behind a pile of ruins. Examining the bloody gash, she covered the wound as best as she could. The girl coughed blood in abundance.

"It's all right," she whispered protectively. "It's okay, honey ... you're gonna get out of here, hold on."

"Ma'am ... I don’t ..."

"Hold on, please! Hold on! "

Buffy admired the girly, freckled face of the wounded slayer. She stroked her hair, softly. "I promise you'll be fine. Stay with me," she begged. "Stay with me." Behind her, another slayer was sobbing loudly.

 

 

 

"We found them sitting around, sipping 0 neg. They were both armed, but too stupid to run."

Buffy nodded, clutching her chilled arms. Around her were ambulances and rescue workers. Xander was comforting her kindly as he described the killing of the bombers.

"Justice has been done."

"Good."

"I called Renee, okay? We can take care of the rest, you go home."

"I should stay here and—"

"Go home, Buff."

She nodded weakly. "Say hi to Renee for me."

 

 

 

Buffy was back to her house by four in the morning. It would soon be sunrise. A couple of guards, who had been posted in the kitchen, were waiting for her. Buffy politely dismissed them and ran to take a shower.

The blood of the murdered young slayer stained her new clothes and her body. Silently she rubbed the muscles of her neck, aching with fatigue. Under running hot water, she was able to relax briefly. She put on a robe and dried her hair.

In her bedroom, she saw her little daughter, who often ran to Buffy’s bed in the night. Buffy sat down to admire her better. Her smooth brown hair had become even more pretty and her face was relaxed, brightened by flushed sweet cheeks.

_"My love,”_  The Slayer whispered softly.

She closed her eyes.

 

 

  
  



	3. 2. The Long Way Home

 

 

 

Buffy woke up at dawn.

Her hair was somehow still wet and she had dampened the pillow she shared with Annie. Concerned, she moved just enough to feel her daughter’s neck. Reassured, she gave a kiss to the little sleepy head and got up to go to the bathroom. 

The glow of the bathroom’s harsh light mercilessly revealed the lines on her face.

The regenerating power of the slayer could not fix signs of the concern she had felt for so many years and, without makeup, Buffy looked almost older than her age and paler than some vamps. She had been avoiding the beach since the day Annie was almost killed by a bloodthirsty shark demon under her watch. 

Annie had learned to recognize the slayers and didn’t worry about their presence in the house. On the other hand, she had begun to suffer from the absences of her mother, who was always committed to her sacred duty.

"What a mess," Buffy murmured, pulling back her hair, which seemed too dark and unfit for her delicate face. "What a disaster!" she added with trembling lips, stoically fighting the urge to cry. The image in the mirror showed her weakness -  _her tears_ \- and she felt guilty and embarrassed. 

Determined, the slayer pulled out a box of hair dye and put the water to heat up. She had to hurry.

 

 

 

"You're awake!" Buffy exclaimed. Annie grinned beneath the colorful blankets. "Little troublemaker!" she joked, running to the bed. She trashed the covers and kissed her girl playfully.

Annie held out her hands. Her mother’s hair was different,  _lighter_.

"But ..."

"Do you like it? I'm blonde now." 

" _Blone_ ..."

Amused, Buffy hugged Annie. "I knew you would have like it. You know, this was my color before you were born." 

Annie smiled. Then frowned at the sound of footsteps in the living room;  _her slayer nannies_.

"I have to go now,” Buffy said sorrowfully. “But I’ll come back tonight. Wait for me, love?"

 

 

 

Back in the Centre for Research and Training, Buffy walked through the corridors at a steady pace, munching a diet chocolate snack. A welcome guest was waiting for her, a freelancer with a taste for danger and the bravery ...

_"Andrew!"_  Buffy yelled.

The guy in question was busy telling his legendary adventures to the unsuspecting young slayers.

_"Buffy Summers, slayer extraordinaire!”_  he said, happily. “The woman with the heart of a lion and the ..."

"Yes, I know. Sit down and go on with the meeting, please!"

Willow held back a laugh. "How did you become so unfriendly and … blonde! You're blonde again, Buffy!"

"Now I recognize you!" Xander approved. Buffy took a seat beside him. 

Andrew had begun to show pictures from his report presentation.

"I missed my color."

"Us too. Your hair looks great."

"Should I cut it, what do you think?"

"Um ..."

"... And as you can see," Andrew interrupted, coughing out loud. "We found the same symbols in Germany, Norway and Sweden. It seems that there is an incredible convergence of forces and alliances. The vampires who belong to the New Order are working together to achieve their ultimate goal."

Buffy rolled her eyes. "Let me guess, the ultimate goal would be the end of the world?"

He shrugged. "The world as we know it! These vampires and demons … they are trying to restore ancient conditions of the Earth. They want to become the new masters of the planet and subdue their enemy, both slayers and humanity."

"Slavery of the human race, that’s an original plan!"

Andrew bit his lips nervously. "Apparently they’re studying a way to make vampires immune to sunlight. They will be able to blend into society and gain access to the major Hellmouths that are still active. From there, they’ll resurrect their supreme leader."

Willow and Xander peered at him, both looking worried. 

Buffy took a breath before speaking.

"We need to find out if these rumors are true, inform the slayers around the world, organize a center for the study of the prophecies ... Great job, Andrew. Now pizza?"

 

 

The northern wind cooled the evening air. 

The fairly crowded airport was welcoming arriving passengers. Buffy and Andrew were waiting, stationed on the hill, overlooking the runway.

_In silence._

"It's so nice to get back to work! I miss our adventures," Andrew said eagerly. "After the defeat of the First we’ve had no opportunity to fight together again!"

With her eyes fixed on the plane, Buffy focused the binoculars for a better view of the field.

"... I talked about you behind European slayers. I think you should do more propaganda; you should spread your image in special portraits and murals ..."

"I'm not a politician."

"... And you should write a memoir!" 

"I'm not a writer."

"... I had to tell the world of your bravery! I declaimed your courage, your moral fiber like a British sergeant at the time of the Nazi advance! The girls were impressed, you could ..."

"Andrew ..." Buffy whispered, annoyed. "They’ll come and we wi’ll miss them, if we get lost in conversation!"

"Oh yeah, right!" he replied. "In any case, you really should ..."

"Andrew!"

The plane had stopped. The passengers began to step down from the ladder mobile; Buffy studied them patiently, one by one. Finally, from the main door, emerged the distinct shape of a dark man, tall and imposing.

"Here they are! That's Angel," Andrew said, fascinated. "He looks thinner, but it will be the black that does that, especially at distance."

A few steps away from him, a blonde head and an unmistakable profile.

Buffy gasped. " _He’s really back_ ," she muttered, swallowing the her tension.  
   
Unaware of them, Angel and Spike smiled at each other.  
   
"I really don’t know how ..." Andrew sighed. "I mean, he's always been so attractive and strong. Even in this greenish light of the airport, he’s still the best with bleached hair and those strong cheekbones."

Buffy put down the binoculars and looked at him doubtfully.

  
  
  



	4. 3. Pangs

  
  
  
  
The vampire threw Buffy against a tombstone with a powerful blow. She hissed angrily and protected her face with closed fists, ignoring the sharp pain from her back.  
  
“Maybe I should buy her a new book!” Willow said. While Buffy was fighting, she was busy trying a couple of new spells on a powerless demon. “Annie loves coloring.”  
  
“She loves coloring very much!” the Slayer agreed, gritting her teeth. The vampire was already on her, and he was trying to choke her. Buffy fought against the hold with a deadly fist, which was avoided, and then another, less powerful but more precise, right to the vamp’s face.  
  
“She’s such a lovely little girl! You should take her to work more often.”  
  
“And show her hundreds of pissed off slayers with punching bags? She’s already got one at home!”  
  
Willow pouted, looking into her enemy’s eyes. “ _Explode_ ,” she murmured softly. The demon became dust in a second. “Need help?”  
  
Buffy hit the vampire’s heart with her stake. “No, thanks,” she replied, getting up all sweaty and disheveled.  
  
“You look like you got back from running a marathon in the mud!” Willow joked with a wide, satisfied smile.  
  
“The marathon in the mud method may be dirty, but I like it. It’s very effective,” Buffy said, shaking off the dust on the jeans. “You’re getting more and more powerful, Will. I simply can’t compare myself to you.”  
  
“But I’ve never seen you so strong, Buffy. You’re really at your best!”  
  
The Slayer smiled tenderly, walking among gravestones with her dearest friend. The cemetery was quiet for once. Peaceful, almost elegant, it was comforting to look at. The grass was covered with autumn leaves and, every now and then, a wild colorful flower, a little lizard was hiding beneath the green.  
  
It was the most beautiful place in the world sometimes, and Buffy was just tired to deny her sense of belonging.  
  
 _“They’re back,”_  Willow murmured suddenly.  
  
“Who?”  
  
“Don’t pretend you don’t know.”  
  
“You spoke with Andrew?”  
  
“I don’t need Andrew to know stuff! Angel and Spike are back in Los Angeles. How do you feel about that?”  
  
“How am I supposed to feel?” Buffy replied. “I haven’t seen them in centuries!”  
  
“But Spike wrote to you for so long …”  
  
“And then he stopped. And I stopped. And everything changed, you know.”  
  
“You don’t care about him anymore?”  
  
“Of course I care! It’s just that … now my priorities are different. I really don’t know what to do or what to say …  _everything changed_.”  
  
“Don’t be so hard on yourself.” Willow murmured, gently hugging her. “Those two vampires are the most important men in your life. It doesn’t seem to me that you have found a valid substitute.”  
  
“I need time to think!”  
  
“Well, I guess they aren’t escaping. They just got back.”  
  
  
  
  
  
The house was warm and silent. Buffy turned on a lamp and went into the kitchen to get some orange juice. She heard the sound of little steps behind her back.  
  
 _“Annie!”_  she whispered, holding the awake child in her arms. Her daughter sighed, relieved. “Did you had a nightmare and you can’t sleep? I’m sorry, sweetheart. I know how it feels.”  
  
Buffy walked into her bedroom and put Annie under the covers. She petted her daughter, until she was asleep again. “Coming in a minute,” she murmured gently.  
  
The Slayer went back in the kitchen, took the laptop and checked her mailbox. Spam everywhere and a hundred  unread messages. One was from an strange, kinda familiar address. She clicked it.  
  
  
 _Hi Buffy, how are you?_  
  
 _It’s a stupid question. I didn’t know how to start this e-mail. I just wanted to tell you that I’m back in L.A. and, if you want, we could meet. I have some information about the new Big Bad. If you want to talk, here I am._  
  
 _Love,_  
 _Spike_  
  
  
Buffy stared at the bright screen for long minutes. Unconsciously, she touched her heart and felt a powerful rush of emotions filling her stomach.  
  
One, above all:  _hope_.


	5. 4. Encounter

  
  
Buffy looked skeptically at the image in the mirror. The beige pants made her hips seem awfully large, and the black shirt was too tight across her chest. The combination, in addition to being a little too sophisticated for an informal evening, made her seem fat in spite of her lack of breasts.  
  
“Oh why?” she cried, clenching her fists.  
  
Her dating skills were rustier that she’d thought and Spike was waiting for her. For their appointment. A proper appointment with conversation and stuff,  _between them_.   
  
Buffy took a deep breath and fought back her nervousness. After she put the pants and classy shirt in the closet, she donned a comfortable pair of jeans, a blue sweater and a pair of azure Adidas. Less formal, more natural.  
  
  
  
  
  
The meeting place was a popular pub. Buffy looked at the sign and smiled, surprised by Spike’s choice.   
  
“You can go inside, you know? I don’t want you to catch a cold,” said a deep, sensual voice.   
  
Buffy turned.  _“Hello Spike,”_  
  
 _“Hello Buffy.”_  
  
“So … do you come here often?”  
  
  
  
  
  
Spike loved hot chocolate just as she remembered. He also had a special way to take it – simple, with cream and little biscuits on the side. He drank it immediately, without letting it cool too much. He was a hearty eater and a very peculiar kind of vampire. He made noises. Little moans of appreciation that made him incredibly similar to an enthusiastic kid.   
  
“Good?” Buffy asked, staring at her green tea.  
  
“I missed hot chocolate!” he replied with incredible satisfaction. “It’s brilliant! I haven’t had a nice cuppa since mh  …” The slayer laughed softly. “You should have hot chocolate too! What’s with that stupid green colored water? You haven’t even touched it.”  
  
“I’m good,” she muttered with a pout. “I’m a thirty year old woman and I need to be careful.”  
  
“You’re the thinnest woman I’ve ever seen and I’ve seen lots of women. Do you still … are you still doing that incredibly insane melon diet?”  
  
“Thank God I stopped!” she exclaimed relieved.   
  
Spike smiled tenderly. “I remember when you decided to start it. You were basically all bony and still wanted to lose a few pounds. You were insane, say it!”  
  
“Don’t embarrass me in a public place!” she retorted, hiding her blushing face.   
  
“But I was fascinated by that kind of unwavering energy, you know?” he confessed immediately. “You were always so strong when you believed in something.”  
  
Buffy titled her head. “But when I finished the first week of that diet, I stuffed myself with ice cream. Such admirable willpower!”  
  
“I’m not saying you were perfect. In fact, you were pretty unbearable for most of the time and incredibly contrary!”  
  
“Oh,  _thank you!”_  
  
He grinned. “But your flaws made you unique, more beautiful.”  
  
She looked into his eyes. “I never wanted to be unique,” she said and her voice was shaking with emotion. She truly remembered how it felt with Spike near her. “Perhaps … that was my greatest flaw: my unattainable desire of for approval … my desire to be ordinary and loved as I supposed I should be.”  
  
“I’ve never understood that. In my eyes you were amazing. Why change?”  
  
“It was a basic need, I think. When you’re different you also feel incredibly alone. But everyone is alone, right?”  
  
“I think so,” he replied. “You’ve become wiser.”  
  
“Oh no!” I’m just a girl with an army. Nothing special, really. I don’t think I’ve reached the levels of a Tibetan monk,”  
  
 _“Or Angel, for the matter,”_  he joked.   
  
Buffy swallowed unnecessarily. “And how is he?”   
  
“He’s the same brooding pain in the ass, abyss of deep depression … he’s fine. And thanks to me he has developed a vague semblance of humanity! Mister  _'I know the depths of the human soul and I stare at it every day in the morning_ ’ is a little less spooky and more bearable. After all that happened in Los Angeles …I think he needed a break. So I decided to take him with me on a trip around the world. The old guy loves trips. He’s a friendly vampire.  _Sometimes_.”  
  
Buffy frowned. “You seem to like him now …  it’s just that I remember you two always fighting. I’m glad you’re friends.”  
  
“It’s ... comfortable having someone like you, someone who understands. At some point you need to work things out.”  
  
“I’m really glad to hear it. So you two have been in India, right?”  
  
Spike smiled. “We visited many places. It was fun.”  
  
“You left Los Angeles to me. You’ve been gone forever and I had to cover for you. I used to think Los Angeles was your city.”  
  
“We aren’t exactly the owners, are we, pet? Also when you live for centuries like me, you don’t feel the same sense of belonging that humans feel. You don’t tie yourself to a specific place.”  
  
“But I’m glad you’re back.”  
  
Spike opened his mouth to say something. He hesitated. “Thank you,” he replied very softly.   
  
They went outside.  
  
“Mh, look at all the slayers in disguise …”   
  
Buffy turned her head, surprised. “How do you …”  
  
“Master vampire, love. I can smell that sweet blood of yours for miles.”  
  
“I forgot.”  
  
“It isn’t good for you to be so far away from me.”   
  
She held back a smile. “Are we going to visit some of your contacts?”   
  
“If you want. We can take the car.”  
  
“Let’s walk.”  
  
They walked in silence. Closer.  
  
“You still dye your hair,” she muttered. “You’re still  _the same.”_  
  
“I don’t want to change my look. It’s like a trademark, you know? And I won’t become a bloody emo or God knows what they call themselves these days!”  
  
Buffy laughed.  
  
“I’m faithful to certain important things,”  
  
“As for example?”   
  
“Manchester United,” he stated firmly. His lips were almost shining in the dark. “Chicken wings – the spicy kind of course … _the Queen …”_  
  
 _“The Queen?”_  
  
“Her Majesty, the Queen of England.”  
  
The Slayer laughed again. “You’re a vampire! You were an evil rebellious vampire _for thousands of years!_  You can’t say that!”  
  
“Why not? I’m British after all.”  
  
“I see,” Buffy agreed, wiping the tears from her eyes. She hadn’t laughed so much in months, years maybe. “It’s weird, though.”  
  
“Isn’t about choices, pet. It’s about feeling something … something inside of you …”  
  
“Like breathing for a human.”  
  
“That’s right. Like breathing.  _For you_.”


	6. 5. Varanasi

  
They jumped on the mattress, hugging each other and laughing. Their naked bodies joined in a tight embrace. Buffy took a deep breath and Spike smiled tenderly, caressing the back of her neck. She was beautiful. Warm and soft in his arms, breathless and with her cheeks flushed pink.  
  
 _She was his,_ again.  
  
“Oh God,” she murmured. “I think we damaged the wall,”  
  
“The wall had it coming,”  
  
She laughed.  
  
 _“We always miss the bed,”_  
  
“Next time,” he joked, but his voice was filled with anxiety.  
  
Surprisingly, Buffy nodded.  
  
 _“Next time,”_ she repeated, closing her eyes.  
  
Spike looked at her in wonder. With his index finger he touched the line between her bare shoulders, caressed her hips and her breasts.  
  
“They told me you changed hair color at some point. I would have liked to see you brunette. Who knows what kind of effect would you have on me …”  
  
“More than this?” she asked, mischievous.  
  
He kissed her passionately.  
  
She smiled. “It’s great to lean on you. You’re kinda sweaty but your skin is still colder than mine.”  
  
 _“To serve you_ , milady.”  
  
“Oh stop it! Tell me about India, instead! I’m so curious to know all the places you’ve been!”  
  
“What do you wanna hear?”  
  
“I don’t know. Something, anything … I went abroad with my army, but it’s impossible to be the classic tourist with a bunch of superpowered girls to watch over.”  
  
Spike gently stroked her hair and kissed her temple.  
  
“I saw people scatter their loved ones’ ashes in the murky waters of Ganges. That’s what I saw,” he began. “From the hotel where I was staying I could see the crematorium’s pyres constantly working. Columns of black smoke lost in the sunset and the smell of flowers and tears. At the end of the day, the Brahmins used to dance holding light sculptures. Around the flames there were many people and each person was giving to the river his own flame, his wish of love.”  
  
“Did you …”  
  
“What?”  
  
“Gave a love wish. A little spark for the river.”  
  
The vampire laughed, slightly embarrassed. And she kissed him, kissed his scared hand. “Answer me, please,”  
  
“I did.”  
  
“What did you ask for?”  
  
“I’ll never tell,” he replied.  
  
Buffy sighed thoughtfully.  
  
“India seems such a wonderful place,”  
  
“It is. When we visited it, the monsoon season was about to end. Sometimes, thanks to the rain, we were able to travel during the day. For nearly a month we crossed the country, met all kinds of people and attended wild dances and ancient rites. I forced Angel to taste some typical dishes. He obviously blamed me for his inability to taste human food. We went to the holy city, _Varanasi_ , and we stayed there for weeks.”  
  
“It was beautiful?”  
  
“Suggestive.”  
  
Buffy stretched to reach Spike’s face.  
  
It was unbelievable to be with him, to kiss him after so many years and so much distance; to walk away from the ghosts of depression and pain and be happy for the first time; to being able to combine passion and affection. To  _trust_  again.  
  
“I have to go,” she muttered, brushing her lips against her lover’s.  
  
“You have … now? I was about to tell you other amazingly boring things,”  
  
“I have to go,” she repeated amused. And kissed him again and again, breathing the smell of his skin, licking the line of his neck.  _“I have to.”_  
  
She sat up on the bed and began to dress.  
  
“Are we returning to the post-sex runs?”  
  
“I’m not running away!”  
  
“I was joking, pet. Don’t be angry with me.”  
  
The Slayer turned slightly and stroked her lover’s check. “I’m not angry. I feel so relaxed .. I haven’t felt this good in a long, long time. It’s all because of you, Spike.”  
  
“Well, I’m good with …”  
  
“Isn’t about the sex! I mean, it’s also about the sex. But … the point is that I like to be with you. _I really do,_ ” she added.  
  
Spike was too astonished to reply.  
  
“I’m not lying,” she whispered, approaching for a goodbye kiss. “This time I’ll do better with you. I missed you, so much.”

 


	7. 6. Wild Horses

  
  
  
  
  
The warehouse was like a gray box in the darkness of the Los Angeles’ port. Buffy crossed her arms determinedly and took a long look at the place identified by Willow.  
  
A young slayer came across the street. “Ma’am, we are ready,”   
  
“Good.” Buffy nodded. “Ten minutes and I want the place burnt.”  
  
The Chosen One took a deep breath. The wind brought to her nostrils the disgusting scent of garbage left to rot on the water. She grimaced. “In a circle!” she ordered firmly. “Start with Willow’s spell!”  
  
A car’s roar disturbed the young slayers. They turned with curiosity.  
  
“Keep going, keep going!” Buffy exclaimed, gesturing emphatically. “I’ll be back in a moment.” Slowly she went toward Angel’s black viper.  
  
“Stop it!” the vampire screamed. “This warehouse contains important magical resources!”  
  
“That’s why we decided to destroy it. The hidden resources are too dangerous. I will not let them be taken by some powerful magician for the black market. You aren’t going to stop my order, Angel.”  
  
“But what you’re doing doesn’t make any sense!” he protested.  
  
“To you, maybe,” she snapped, raising an arm. “Slayers, on my three!”   
  
“Buffy don’t …”  
  
 _“One …”_  
  
“Think about it again!”  
  
 _“Two … THREE!”_  
  
The building imploded in a bubble of magic. Greenish and golden sparks flashed briefly in the sky and disappeared swallowed by a mystical dimension. The slayers cheered.  
  
 _“You did it!”_ Angel said incredulously.  
  
“Apparently. Mission completed, girls. You can go home.”  
  


 

  
  
_“What the hell is wrong with you?!”_  Angel exclaimed, following Buffy down the deserted street.  
  
“I only did what I had to do,” she replied.   
  
“We could have found another way!”   
  
“You’re not the boss here,” she said. “I’m the boss. So back off.”   
  
“Buffy stop it, dammit! What’s the matter with you?! You just destroyed precious magic!”   
  
The Slayer turned. “I’m perfectly fine. I can’t abort a mission already underway just because of you. And my slayers don’t follow your lead for that matter! What do you think? That you can decide for me just because you and I were together once?”  
  
“If that’s what I was thinking  _I would have sent Spike!”_  he snapped sarcastically.  
  
“What are you talking about?”  
  
“He would have done a better job of persuading you, right?”  
  
“I don’t wanna talk with you one more second.”  
  
Angel opened his arms, his expression desolated. “Look, I’m sorry! I don’t know why we’re fighting so bad about this,”  
  
“Well, don’t ask me,” she murmured, closing her eyes. “You know about us … about me and Spike, right?”  
  
 _“I know a lot more,_  Buffy. Why don’t you tell him?”  
  
“Tell him what?”  
  
“Oh, don’t pretend with me …”  
  
“Tell him what?” she cried desperately. “Tell him what, Angel!”  
  
“He’s happy. You make him happy. He always wanted to be with you …”  
  
“And since when are you the big Spike’s supporter? You’ve always acted as a bastard to him!”   
  
“I would hate the idea of him being heartbroken...  _again_..”   
  
Buffy held back angry bitter tears. “I … I would break his heart?” Angel didn’t answered. “Oh fuck! This conversation is absurd!” she exclaimed turning her back.  
  
“Come here, Buffy. Please don’t run.”  
  
“I need a shower,” she started walking faster. “And a little rest. I need to get away from you, for example.”   
  
“Don’t run.”  
  
“I don’t understand!” she screamed, turning her head. “I made a mistake! Why are my mistakes are always so unforgettable? Why does you support everyone but me? The problem with me is that I try so hard to keep things straight, to resist. Perhaps falling apart will get your fucking understanding …”  
  
“Buffy, I know you better than this. Spike isn’t a sexbot! He still loves you,” he added holding her tightly. “He never stopped loving you. And he would suffer knowing about your daughter and the rest …”  
  
 _“What rest? There is nothing, don’t you see? Nothing!”_  
  
She broke into tears and he kissed her lips without thinking. In his arms Buffy returned to a brave pure girl, his blinding first love forever lost. “I don’t want to see you suffer,” he said, holding her. She was so little and trembling. So desperate for Spike.   
  
He had learned to love them both.  



	8. 7. Consequences

 

  
Buffy went into the bathroom and turned on the light. She stared at the reflection in the mirror. _So pale_. She could easily pass for a vampire.

Pulling out the bag of cosmetics, Buffy closed her eyes and repressed the image of a tired, sad woman. She had become  _so old_.

Occasionally when the melancholy and loneliness became unbearable, she challenged herself to remember a beautiful day, one removed and discovered in the fragments of memories shared in Heaven. The day she had spent with Angel feeling like a regular girl, in love with a regular boy.

The problem with memories from the afterlife was that they looked like pieces of other people’s lives. Unspeakable sweetness and despair felt the same. Empty, strange. Buffy tried to remember the feeling of happiness and love with great effort but everything was useless. Perhaps she had lost forever the ability to love that way.

“I lost it,” she whispered at the mirror. “ _I lost it_.” 

She had this strange gift of understanding love ever so late, when it was just ashes in the bottom of a crater.

Even now she had done the same thing. Instead of earning her little piece of happiness, instead of building a real relationship, she preferred to drown in the depths of stupid and inconclusive choices. After all the pain of loss made love so sweet.

 

 

 

 

“Gina, don’t put through any calls and don’t allow anyone to interrupt me.” She ordered, closing her office door.

She fell into a chair, too tired to do anything. When she was about to fall asleep, the sound of conversation awakened her. The door opened.

“I’m sorry ma’am. I couldn’t stop him,” the assistant apologized, letting Spike in.

The vampire arched his scarred eyebrow with amusement.

“Don’t worry Gina, I’ve got this.”

The door closed again.

“I can’t believe you have a personal assistant!” Spike exclaimed. “You look just like Peaches when he worked for  _Evil Inc!”_

“Really?”

“Nah, not really. Too many slayers here for a poor – still allergic to the crosses – guy.”

Buffy forced a smile.

“What’s up?” he asked carefully. “You look anxious.”

“No, I don’t,” she replied. Spike tried to reach for her but she avoided the hug. “It’s just that … I’m tense. It’s a busy time.”

“I know a way to help you relax,”

“Please Spike! I’m not in the mood!” she snapped, raising her voice. Embarrassed she faced the window. “I’m sorry. It’s a bad time …”

Spike punched the wall.

“It’s starting again, isn’t it, pet? Stuff gets too deep, in a way you hadn’t expected, and so you decide to run away. I shouldn’t be so surprised!”

“I … I can’t watch my back all the time. I have to think about my safety as a leader of the army …”

“What the bloody hell are you talking about?  _Am I a danger for you?”_

“I have no time for this.”

“I didn’t ask you for anything!” he replied furiously. “I gave up the idea of you loving me long ago!”

_“Why did you talk with Angel about us?”_

“Does that matter?”

“Yes! You told him!” she screamed.

“I told him because we’re friends now. I’m not going back to being a dirty little secret.”

The Slayer shut her eyes.

_“Everything changed!_  And you trust him more than me …”

“That’s just bullshit!”

“Get out.”

Spike stared at her speechless.

“I’m not in the mood to be with you.”

His expression revealed sorrow and regret.  Buffy was staring at him impassively.

“Don’t you dare call me again for a shag!” he snapped bitterly.

“Oh, don’t worry.”

Spike stormed out the office, leaving her finally alone.

Dark clouds were looming the sky. She felt the need to go walking in the rain. 

  
  



	9. 8. Intervention

  
Rainy Tuesday afternoon.  
  
Buffy made some tea, trying to enjoy a rare moment of peaceful silence. Annie was out with Xander and his girlfriend Renee and she was alone in the house.  _Boring herself to death_.  
  
Snorting, the Slayer sat on a chair and began to carefully drink the hot tea. She could have made some coffee, instead. It was only five o’clock, and she couldn’t keep her eyes open.  
  
Despite the constant rain, the winter had not yet arrived and it was fairly hot in the city. She could have spent the morning at the beach with Annie, without letting herself by traumatized by an accident. It would have been a good lesson for her daughter.  
  
 _“Oh great Muppety Odin, help me!_ ” she sighed, resting her head on the table.  
  
Someone was knocking.  
  
Buffy clutched her robe and went to open the door.  
  
“Has something happened to An …” the words died on her throat.   
  
 _Spike_ was facing her, soaked with rain, holding an unconscious Angel.  
  
“Buffy, please, let me in.”  
  
“Y- yes. Yes, go ahead. I mean, come in!” she finally spelled out.  
  
Spike headed for the kitchen, carrying his grandsire.  
  
“What happened?” she asked, panicked. “The room on the right … it’s my room. Take him there.”  
  
“He doesn’t wake up,”  
  
“Why? What are you saying?”  
  
“He closed his eyes when we arrived here and … he doesn’t wake up anymore!”  
  
Buffy looked at Angel on her bed and carefully examined a circular wound few inches from the heart. “They hit him with a  _poisoned arrow!”_  
  
“Yes,” Spike replied. “We were hunting, and he fell on the ground. It was almost daylight, and we were stuck in a warehouse. When the rain started to fall, I tried to take him to your house, but he was already unconscious and …”  
  
“Don’t worry. There is still a chance. He needs  _slayer’s blood._ ”   
  
Spike swallowed. “You have to let me bite you. I’m sorry …”  
  
Buffy hesitated nervously. “I just don’t …”  
  
“There is no time!”  
  
Determined, the Slayer stepped forward and offered her neck to him.  
  
“Don’t leave a big scar. Please.”  
  
“Your arm … give me your arm, Buffy.”  
  
She was almost crying when he buried his face into her arm. “I’ll be gentle, pet. I promise.” Slowly the fangs pierced her flesh.  
  
 _“William …”_  
  
Trembling with pain, Buffy moved closer to her former lover and dipped her head in the crook of his neck. She closed her eyes, feeling him sucking her blood, embracing his head. The blood loss started to weaken her.  
  
“It’s okay,” he muttered, sated.  He sat down on the bed and reached for Angel pale and motionless face. He tried to wake him up, shaking his shoulders, then he attacked his grandsire’s jugular.  
  
Angel opened his eyes and bit him ferociously.  
  
“Spike!” Buffy cried out. He was nodding and smiling softly despite the pain.  
  
The vampire wrapped his arms around his grandsire’s head and helped him to drink. Angel was devouring his neck without any care, dominated by the primordial need of self-preservation. The agony must have been unbearable.  
  
“Spike …”  
  
“Don’t worry, pet. He’s almost done it.”  
  
Angel sighed and moved away from his grandchilde’s torn flesh.  
  
“You’re bleeding a lot,” Buffy murmured.  
  
“It’s nothing. Can I use your bathroom?”  
  
She nodded, her eyes filled with tears.

 


	10. 9. Lovers Walk

  
Buffy sat on her bed near Angel. He was asleep, his face covered with blood. The Slayer wiped his lips and heard him mumbling Spike’s name and her name in a soft crying voice.   
  
Silently she wept.  
  
Seeing him so vulnerable reminded her many episodes of her adolescence and the great love she had felt for him.  
  
She smiled tenderly tasting her own tears and kissed his forehead.   
  
  
  
  
  
  
The Slayer walked into her bathroom and closed the door behind her.   
  
“Need a hand?”  
  
Spike was removing his torn shirt, hissing in pain. “No,” he murmured.  
  
She didn’t listen and helped him to get rid of the shirt. His neck wound was still bleeding. With a wet sponge she traced the edges of the bite, carefully avoiding the sensitive internal part of the wound.  
  
 _“Ouch!”_  he hissed.  
  
“Don’t be a baby. You’re supposed to enjoy this kind of stuff. You’re a creature of the night,”  
  
He gave her a glare.  
  
She opened the first aid kid, looking for some bandage. She also took a couple of clean towels and a bottle of disinfectant.   
  
“Take it away. Don’t need it, you know …”  
  
“Sorry. Habit,” she said, cleaning the wound. “You’re bleeding a lot. He bit you pretty hard.”  
  
He barely nodded. “Thank you,” he said with a sigh.  
  
Buffy accepted his gratitude but didn’t look him in the eyes.   
  
He spoke softly. “If it wasn’t for you he would have died. I kinda want his flaccid ass still around,”  
  
“I’m glad you’re such good friends,”  
  
Spike closed his eyes, suppressing a shiver. The concern and the blood loss had visibly weakened him.  
  
“I would give you some blood,” Buffy whispered. “I can bring you some, if you want,”  
  
“There’s no need,”  
  
“You’re trembling,”  
  
“I … I suppose I’m still  _scared_ ,”  
  
“I’m sorry,” she said, tossing the torn shirt in the basket.   
  
“My shirt!” he protested.   
  
“I’ll give you one of Xander’s.”  
  
“Here we go again! Wearing the carpenter’s clothes!”  
  
“Consider yourself lucky,” she replied hiding a smile.   
  
He looked at her intently, tightening his trembling hold on the sink.   
  
“Spike …”  
  
“I’ve never thought it could be like this. The bastard …”  
  
“Spike …”  
  
“I’m angry, Buffy!” he confessed. “When we were stuck in that warehouse, I had to endure his stupid speeches about death and life and destiny. He told me to leave him there, to save myself. He asked me to tell his son about his … he made me promise I would manage to survive,  _the bloody fool!”_  
  
Spike lowered his head, hiding a sob. Buffy hugged him.  
  
“I’m sorry!”  
  
“I had to listen to his pessimistic considerations and I thought … while he was fainting, _I thought that I would be alone. Again. Oh, I’ve always hated the bastard!”_  
  
“I’m sorry, my love,”  
  
A tear ran down the vampire’s face. And then another one and another one …   
  
Buffy sealed his tears with a kiss.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
The sun was setting and the storm was over.   
  
Spike’s skin was fairly lusterous in the feeble light of the bathroom. Pale and scarred and soft under her touch. She had missed him very much. Too much.  
  
When he had taken off her pajama top and pants, she didn’t ask for anything. Just accepted him in her arms - in a tight embrace.   
  
The tears stopped the very moment he was kissing her again, slowly licking her lips with languor.   
  
She closed her eyes and sighed, feeling lost and warmed. Loved.   
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
“Need some help?” Buffy asked.  
  
Spike was managing to wear an old shirt without moving too much his arms. “Thanks, I can do it alone.”   
  
The Slayer nodded, putting on her pajamas pants.  
  
“Wait,” she murmured. “You can sleep a little … here, if you want. You look tired.”  
  
“Buffy, I …”  
  
“Don’t tell me you’re thinking about running down the streets with a blanket.”  
  
“You know me too well,” he whispered, smiling.   
  
She went to the door and turned briefly to kiss his cheek. Spike hesitated for a second, then he pulled her in a passionate kiss.   
  
“I didn’t know if you still wanted …”  
  
 _“All the time,_ ” she confessed with a sigh.   
  
They kissed one more time and left the room.   
  
Angel had opened his eyes, but he was still weak. His pupils were dilated from the poison and teary, like he was about to cry.  
  
“Don’t talk, Peaches. Get some rest,” Spike suggested, lying beside him, exhausted.   
  
Angel took a breath before turning to Buffy. “Thank you.”  
  
“Don’t worry. I’ll call the girls, I’ll get you some blood. Rest.”  
  
 _“Stay with us,”_  he whispered.  
  
“I can’t! It would be too much …”  
  
“Please, Buffy. Stay with us.”   
  
She agreed and lay down near his chest.   
  
“Thank you,” he sighed, before slipping into sleep.   
  
  



	11. 10. Safe

  
Buffy woke up feeling nauseated. The sun had set and the street outside was lightened by the stars. She rubbed her eyes and yawned.

The pink robe she was wearing was wet with saliva and blood. She felt the strong urge for a shower. Annie was about to return home and Spike was still sleeping in her bed.

She pushed him away gently, then got up and walked towards the kitchen.

Angel was standing there, wearing only his trousers. The entrance hole of the arrow was smallish and bloodless.

“Thank you,” he said with a grateful smile. “How do you feel?”

Buffy touched the scar in her arm and shook her head vaguely.

“A bit dazed but I’m gonna be fine.”

“You should eat something, you look very pale.”

“It’s alright,” she said. Then she picked up the phone. Within ten minutes the doorbell rang and a young woman came to deliver a box.

Buffy handed Angel a bag full of blood.

“You shouldn’t have. Thank you again.”

Buffy nodded in silence.

“Are you hungry?” he asked carefully.

“A little.”

“I’ll make you something.”

“Can you cook?”

“Well, yes.”

“Then go ahead.”

The vampire opened the fridge and examined the food. “You should go to the market.”

Buffy shut her eyes mortified.

“I had to go earlier but …”

“I can make omelets with cheese and tomato. Is it alright for you?”

“Of course!”

Angel began to cook. “Spike is still asleep. When he wakes up we’ll go away.”

“You shouldn’t … it’s just that I’m …”

“You don’t want us to stay.  _You don’t want us to meet Anne.”_  

Buffy didn’t answer.

“Don’t worry. I’m not judging or anything. She’s your kid. But you had sex with him, right?”

_“With Annie?!”_

“No! _With Spike!”_

“Oh.”

“I’m sorry,” he muttered embarrassed. “I’m a vampire and I kinda feel it.”

“I don’t know how to explain.”

“You don’t have to. It’s been a long time and we aren’t together anymore. I understand that you need a man and that man isn’t me.”

“Really?”

“I do.”

Buffy sighed relieved. A part of her was still afraid of Angel’s answer.

_“I missed you.”_  She blurted, confused. “It’s a terrible moment to tell you, but I missed you.”

Angel smiled. “I missed you too. Wanna slice the tomatoes?”

“Show me how.”

The vampire fumbled the knife.

She laughed. “You’re good! You’re like one of those television’s cooks!”

“Thank you,” he replied. “ _He loves you_ , you know?”

“He loves you too,”

“As a friend. He still wants you. He wanted to come and talk the other night and the night before.”

“I don’t  …”

“He told me about your outburst. What are you afraid of, Buffy? I don’t understand.”

“But you should! Every time I start a relationship I do it with the best intentions and then everything goes wrong. I don’t have time for this now. I can’t let myself fall for a man who will leave me …”

“Spike leave you? You talk as if you don’t know him.”

“Well … _it’s complicated._ ”

“You have suffered a lot and you don’t want to risk anymore. I get it. Besides you have a daughter now and you need to be careful. But you can’t turn your back on life, especially now that you’re so full of it.”

“You’ve became quite the analyst,”

“I feel guilty,” he murmured. “You have no idea how much. If you’ve become so suspicious it is also because of me and that disastrous time when we were lovers.”

“Don’t say that!”

“It’s the truth,”

“Maybe, yes,” she admitted. “But I loved you so much.  _I didn’t care about the rest_.”

Angel nodded and gently wiped her cheeks.

She tensed surprised. Then she realized she was crying quietly.

“I’m pathetic,”

“No, you’re not,” he replied, kissing her forehead.

The doorbell rand and Buffy went at the door and opened it.

“Annie!” she smiled, hugging and kissing her daughter.

Xander and Renee left in their car.

Awake and startled, Spike went in the hall and saw Buffy with her little child. She was lovely and tiny as a newborn kitten. Her skin was incredibly soft, her long brown hair seemed silky. She had the biggest blue eyes.

Spike took an unnecessary breath and whispered. “ _Nibblet_.”


	12. 11. Annie

 

  
Looking at the mirror, Buffy adjusted her makeup adding a little touch of blush on her cheeks. She fixed her hair and smiled, hearing the noise from the kitchen. Willow and Kennedy were playing with Annie.

“Need help?” Willow asked, smiling from the bathroom door.

“No, thanks,” she replied looking over her shoulders. “Annie is still watching the cartoons, right?”

Willow nodded. “It will be hard to convince her to go to sleep,”

“Not later than ten, Will! I’m counting on you.”

The Slayer went into the kitchen and greeted her daughter, busy jumping on the couch in front of the television.

“Be nice with the aunties, sweetheart!”

_“Me nice!”_  she protested, hiding under a colorful blanket.

Buffy chuckled and sat next to her. She held her daughter close and kissed her pale forehead, gently stroking her hair.

“I’ll be back soon,” she promised.

Annie smiled.

Buffy took a deep breath and got up. She went to the weapon case and selected the stakes to carry on patrol – she hid one in her pocket under the sweater and the other in her purse. She wore a coat and a silky scarf.

The Slayer turned to say goodnight to Annie hesitantly.

Leaving her alone at night made her feel a bad mother, the worst in the whole universe. It was so painful to see how accustomed to her absences Annie was even at such young age. The guilt was unbearable.

_“I’ll be damned,”_  she murmured biting her lips.

“Did you say something?” Kennedy asked, turning around.

_“I didn’t!_  I didn’t say anything!”

“I’m sorry, I thought I heard your voice. Are you sure you wanna go alone?”

“Totally sure,”

“Fine.”

Kennedy took a bunch of popcorns and turned to watch the Little Mermaid.

“Be careful!” Willow said, holding her nephew disguised as a cat.

Buffy looked surprised.

“And that costume?”

_“It’s kind of magic!”_

 

 

 

The real pleasure of hunting was mostly in the thrill of anticipation. The fight was all about physical sensations too fast, violent, and intense to analyze, and also incredibly unpredictable. Survival instinct, fear of defeat, and the energy of exchanged blows were all just flashes through her mind. The quips before the actual attack were as much about calculation and measuring the enemy’s nerve and his moves as they were about being funny.

For this reason Buffy loved to play with her victims.

 

 

 

The street leading to the cemetery was deserted and silent. Lighted almost too well, it was hard for Buffy to hide in the shady places on the road.

The Slayer walked hastily. A dog’s cry echoed in the night.

At some point – as she was expecting – two vamps appeared behind her. Buffy turned around briefly, nervously, and continued to walk towards the cemetery.

The vamps jumped on her and grabbed her arm and her hair.

The Slayer turned with a grin.

She hit the one who was pulling her hair first and staked his heart with lethal precision. Then she kicked the other’s stomach and changed a few blows with him before killing him.

“And that’s it!” she sighed relieved.

A burned cigarette fell on the ground.

“Are you still enjoying yourself killing my kind?” Spike asked sarcastically.

Buffy tried to smile. “You came right on time,”

“You too. Despite being busy, I guess. Next to a nice crypt there’s a bench. We could sit and talk a bit … can we?”

“Of course.”

 

 

 

The cemetery was curiously peaceful. Evidently even Spike hadn’t lost time before their appointment.

Buffy took a deep breath. Her eyes were fixed on a tree infested by insects.

“I’m glad to see you. It’s been a while,” he started.

“I’m glad too,”

“Was it difficult to take a night off?” he asked tilting his head and looking at her so deeply and with such frightening honesty and affection that Buffy wasn’t able to turn away.

“You know how it works,” she said, rather casually. “When I’m not busy trying to prevent the end of the world I manage to deal with the army, or with a rebellion. Or with the budget. I hate the part when I care about the budget. I really do! It’s a nightmare and the money for the girls is always tight …”

He chuckled.

“You’re a hell of woman. And you have a daughter now. Why didn’t tell me about her?”

“You got it, right?”

Spike sighed. “She looks so much like her … why don’t you tell me  _what happened to Dawn?_  Is this the reason why you’re so desperate? I can help you. Please let me,”

“No, you can’t. Nobody can. What happened to Dawn was … all my fault. I should have watched out for her and thought more about her and not left her so alone! She’s dead now and it’s all my fault.”

“Buffy …”

“Don’t be comforting, please. I can’t take it,”

Spike closed his saddened eyes.

“Let me understand this: you’ve decided to take care of Dawn’s daughter alone to punish yourself for your mistakes. You wanna avoid any serious involvement. Is this the plan?”

“I don’t want to talk about it,” she snapped, getting up.

Spike grabbed her arm and forced her to look him.

“We came to talk, Buffy! Don’t run away again!”

“I don’t have time for this!”

Spike clenched his jaw angrily.

“I’m in love with you!” he confessed in a low voice.

Once again just the admission was too painful to be shared.

_“I’m sorry,”_  she replied like a broken record.

  
  



	13. 12. Time of your Life

  
  
  
  
  
  
Buffy rubbed her eyes and focused on the flour, the eggs and the spoon on her kitchen table. She sighed hopelessly.  
  
Annie had just woken up. Dazed, she trotted over to her mother an smiled, pointing at the eggs. Buffy lifted her little body and kissed her warm cheeks.  
  
“Good afternoon, sunshine,”  
  
“Mom … eggs!”  
  
“Hey, look what I’m doing!” Buffy said, opening the cookbook. “I wanted to make a chocolate cake for you, but I think I’m stuck …”  
  
Annie laughed and her mother stroked her hair.  
  
She’d often caressed Dawn’s hair when her sister was sad or scared. Slowly, tenderly. Dawn’s hair was the softest and the silkiest she had ever touched.  
  
“You know, my love, your mother – the other one – would have loved all of this,”  
  
“But she isn’t here anymore,”  
  
“Right. She isn’t here anymore. There is you.”  
  
  
  
  
  
Buffy walked through the streets of Los Angeles. Another night patrol was about to end.  
  
Kennedy had protested when Buffy was about to leave her house According to Willow’s girlfriend it was unnecessarily dangerous for the leader of the slayers to hunt alone at night. She was a general and she needed to focus on the safety of the power structure of the organization.  
  
“Clearly she doesn’t do a lot of patrol these days,” Buffy sighed, bored.  
  
The vamps were nowhere around and she didn’t even get the chance to engage in a decent fight with a Fyarl demon.  
  
Feeling grumpy, the Slayer sat on an empty bench and pulled a bottle of mineral water out of her bag. She drank.  
  
A few feet away there was a red Maserati, parked next to the sidewalk. Inside the car was a beautiful young woman.  
  
Buffy looked with curiosity.  
  
“Stunning, right?”  
  
The Slayer turned around at the sound of the voice. She saw a little man in a suit smiling at her.  
  
“Stunning, don’t you think?” he said again pointing at the Maserati.  
  
“Yes,” she answered without knowing if the subject was the car or the woman inside.  
  
The stranger titled his head. “I can take you home if you want. It’s very late,”  
  
Buffy smiled. “I can manage,”  
  
“I saw you walking down the street alone and I don’t think it’s a particularly safe place,”  
  
“There is no need, really,”  
  
The little man frowned.  
  
“Oh, you must be one of those girls!" he realized suddenly. “Los Angeles is full of them! You work at night, right? Specially in the suburban streets. My Melanie was saved once by one of yours. Perhaps even by you!”  
  
“I can’t tell. I meet so many people,”  
  
“I guess. It’s a difficult life, right? They told me you get called at a young age  ….”  
  
“Yes, it works like that. I was in high school when I got the call. I started early and I haven’t stopped since then. It’s the kind of work you do for the rest of your life,”  
  
“Oh, I see.” The stranger nodded, taking a seat next to Buffy.  
  
He was so small his feet couldn’t touch the ground. He played with them like a mischievous child.  
  
“I’m waiting with my girlfriend for the opening of a little café. I’m sorry, I think I’m just curious and maybe it’s rude but … I think you don’t like your job.”  
  
Buffy blinked. “How do you know?”  
  
“You look really sad,”  
  
The Slayer didn’t reply for a minute.  
  
“Oh no! It isn’t like that! I’m used to the job now. It’s fine,”  
  
“Still, it must be strange. You wake up one morning and your fate is already decided; you’re no longer the same person you were. Bam! You’re different. You lost something you didn’t even know you possessed: the chance to have a normal life,”  
  
“Yes … but …”  
  
Buffy bit her lips. It seemed so stupid to talk about loneliness and diversity with a man so tiny.  
  
“I know what you’re thinking. I’m a dwarf! And, well, for one thing I was born this way. I’ve never thought that my future was to became a professional football player or something. I’ve always lived my life from my point of view. A little lower than the rest. You are a beautiful girl, and at some point your everyday life was taken away from you,”  
  
“I honestly don’t think it’s fair to make a comparison. You … have you ever dreamed of being someone else?”  
  
“Of course I have. And I have suffered. But the point still stands; I am what I am, nobody decided for me,”  
  
“It’s complicated,” Buffy said. “It was a change, really, but it is also part of my nature. In all these years … I’ve thought a lot about myself and my mission and I’ve come to peace with most of the things. Also, it’s better now; we – the slayers – are together and we can fit in the world …”  
  
“I read something about the slayers recently. Monster girls. What a nonsense!”  
  
“Right. But after all we aren’t exactly normal …”  
  
The little man narrowed his eyes.  
  
“It’s funny, miss. You’ve done this job since you were in high school and you still think about normal? When was the last time you saw a dead man rising from his coffin? Or a curious rain of fire in Los Angeles? I really wonder if there is anything normal in the whole planet after all!”  
  
“There are cereals!” Buffy exclaimed. “Cereal for breakfast! Pretty normal … I think …”  
  
The stranger coughed.  
  
“Are you still unable to drop some preconceived ideas? How do you hunt vampires then?”  
  
Buffy sighed.  
  
“It’s really more complicated than that. I see so many unnatural things all day, I just wish I had some solid regular things also.”  
  
“It makes sense,”  
  
“I’ve seen so many things, believe me. I … shouldn’t even be here, you know? Like really here. Here in this life,”  
  
The stranger thought in silence.  
  
“Is this the reason of your pain?”  
  
“Maybe. But there is also someone …”  
  
“A man?”  
  
“I wish he was a man!” Buffy giggled. “Let’s just say he’s a part of my job,”  
  
“A vampire! Are you allowed to have a relationship with the enemy?”  
  
The Slayer laughed again.  
  
“Not exactly. But he’s very special. He has a soul,”  
  
“I didn’t know it was possible!”  
  
“It isn’t. Except for two exceptions,”  
  
“Normality doesn’t even exist in the afterlife!”  
  
“You’re right. And … I want to be with him. A part of me wants… we already been down this path and it was a complete disaster. I feel so stupid just for wanting it so much again. Also the reason it was a disaster in the first place was majorly because of me and how I felt. I wasn’t … good and I made the things more difficult. It really was a bad time. I don’t understand why he still wants to be with me after all that’s happened!”  
  
“Maybe he loves you. Truly loves you. Do you love him?”  
  
The Slayer rolled her eyes.  
  
“There’s a solid chance,” she admitted.  
  
“It’s up to you,” the stranger replied. “If this man – this vampire – is worthy, you should try.”  
  
“I could …”  
  
“Also a soul is always handy these days!”  
  
Buffy smiled.  
  
“We didn’t introduce ourselves,” she said, taking his hand. “My name is Anne.”  
  
“Nice to meet you, Anne. I’m Stanley and that beautiful girl in the Maserati is Melanie, saved once by a slayer. You really do a great job.”  
  
“Thank you. It’s nice to feel useful. But … isn’t your girlfriend jealous? You talk to me and …”  
  
“Mel is different. No such problem,”  
  
“So, you can talk with a girl …”  
  
“Not just talking,”  
  
Buffy took a breath, surprised. “I see! Well, good for you.”  
  
Stanley smirked. “It’s always good for us. Goodbye, Anne! And good luck!”  
  
He jumped inside the car and disappeared into the night.  
  
Buffy looked up the stars.  
  
  



	14. 13. Redefinition

 

 

Stanley had left and Buffy was alone again. She watched the stars and the sky lightened by the pale pink of a new dawn.

Suddenly cold, she picked up her jacket. As she put it on, she pulled her phone from the pocket and dialed. She waited a few seconds before she heard Angel’s voice.

“Hello? Buffy?”

“It’s me,” the Slayer murmured. “Did I wake you up or something?”

“Oh no, we just came back from a patrol.”

“Is Spike there with you?”

“He’s in the dressing room.”

“Good. Fine. Listen, I thought … would you like to meet me now? I spent the night out and …”

“Sure.”

“Great.” She exhaled , slightly nervous.

“We were’ve been waiting for your call since the last time,” Angel said. “Spike was waiting …”

“I know.”

“Come here.”

 

 

 

The Slayer went home.

It was morning and she was tired, but she couldn’t sleep. Her only thought was to reach Angel and Spike as soon as it was possible. She had a quick shower and changed her clothes. Then she sat beside Annie, who was sleeping in her bed.

“Honey,” she murmured softly. “Honey …”

The little girl opened her eyes. Buffy smiled.

“Good morning, love,”

“Monning, Mum,”

“Do you want to come with me today? I’ll take you to meet two special people.”

“Yes.”

“I’d better wash you then.”

 

 

Angel and Spike’s house was an old mansion surrounded by an incredible wild garden. The façade of the building was imposing and beautifully covered with white marble; it reminded Buffy of the mansion back in Sunnydale – where she used to meet Angel after school.

“They live here,” Buffy said, holding her daughter’s hand. “My friends, the special people.”

“Nice.”

“Yes, it is. Shall we go in?”

Angel received them.

“Hey,” he said, opening the door. “And hey! Is she your …”

“She’s Annie, my daughter,” Buffy said, closing the door behind her. The hall was elegant and curiously bright. “Did you put in those special sun-blocking windows?”

“It’s hard to get used to the dark again,” the vampire whispered, a little embarrassed.

Annie was staring at him.

“She’s studying you,” Buffy explained. “I wonder how you look through her eyes,”

Gently the vampire kneeled in front of the little lady in pink.

“You’re adorable,” he said smiling. “You look like your mother when she was younger.”

“It’s not true,” Buffy objected. “Annie is just like Dawn …”

Angel’s expression became impenetrable. “She also has something of yours.”

“Thank you.”

Spike was immobile and pale, behind them. He was staring at the guests with slight embarrassment and great emotion.

“You came,” he murmured to Buffy. “I never thought you’d bring her …”

The Slayer nodded. She picked up her daughter and went close to Spike, who was approaching them.

“She is Anne Lily Summers, my child.”

Spike tilted his head. “Nice to meet you, Anne.”

“I … I just told Angel. She’s exactly like her mother. Maybe a little skinnier. Dawn was a chubby child.”

Scared, Annie shut her eyes and buried her face in the crook of Buffy’s neck. Spike smiled and took her little hand. He kissed it with devotion.

 

 

“Is the tea good?” Spike asked, looking for some decent biscuits almost everywhere.

Buffy was sitting on the couch, snuggled into a huge blanket and warmed by a cup of tea. She was very tired.

“It’s very nice, thanks. Is Angel still hiding the weapons?”

“He’s scared. This house isn’t exactly little-brat-proof,”

“Watch your mouth when you talk about my daughter!” the Slayer threatened jokingly, her lips curled in an amused grin.

Spike gave up his research and sat down next to her, avoiding any physical contact.

“I didn’t think you would bring her here,” he confessed in a low voice. “I guess it’s very important …”

“It is. I trust you,” she replied seriously. “I trust you.”

Spike didn’t say anything for a long moment. He bowed his head and looked at the carpet beneath his feet.

“After all we’ve been through together … it still amazes me when you say that you trust me.”

“I’ll make sure you won’t be surprised anymore.”

Spike turned to Buffy, who was staring at him courageously.

“I’ve missed you so much. Once again,” he confessed.

“And I’ll make you sure to never leave you again. Ever,” she added, her voice trembling with emotion.

He took her hand and kissed it

 


	15. 14. A Beautiful Sunset (Goodnight Lovers)

  
  
  
  
  
The hallway was dirty and covered in mildew. Buffy walked in, clutching herself inside the heavy coat. The upcoming winter was tougher than she’d expected – extraordinarily cold for a warm city like Los Angeles. Ignoring the chills and the terrible smell, the Slayer reached the room where Willow was waiting her. She coughed to announce her presence. The witch smiled.  
  
The room was incredibly dark; it was difficult to see the furnitur placed against the wall. On the ground there were a half dozen smashed pool cues covered in vampire dust, poker cards and money reddened by fresh blood.  
  
“There was a fight and the vamps got killed,” Buffy said looking at the scene very carefully.  
  
Four chairs were arranged in a circle at the center of the room holding four bodies tied with a single heavy rope; their foreheads were bleeding and it was almost impossible to identify them.  
  
“Can we see better?” Buffy asked pointing at the face of a victim.  
  
Willow nodded. Waving her hand, she wiped the blood instantly.  
  
The man was horribly scarred.  
  
“Damn,” the witch muttered. “They tortured them.”  
  
Buffy got on her knees and studied the corpse.  
  
He was an ordinary man, in his forties probably, nicely dressed. He didn’t show any other physical signs of torture, apart from the cuts on his face performed when he was still alive – Willow could tell from the loss of blood. He did have a recent vampire bite on his neck.  
  
“It’s strange. These cuts on his face … were made with a knife, right?”  
  
Willow nodded. “It seems so,”  
  
“We can assume that these guys were playing cards when they got surprised. Probably they were in the company of vamps – hence the singular amount of dust in the room and the smashed pool cues.”  
  
“It could be, I don’t know, a struggle between rival gangs,”  
  
“Yes … the winners had to be very strong. How many piles of dust do you see in this room?”  
  
“With a spell I would be able to tell exactly how many vamps were killed,” Willow murmured.  
  
“We could use a _mystic Grissom …”_  
  
“Yeah.”  
  
The witch waved her hand further and a magical light illuminated the room.  
  
Buffy gasped.  
  
The walls were completely covered in drawings, doodles and alphabet letters painted with blood. A central image depicted a female figure holding a bow and an arrow; her body was barely sketched and her arms looked like straight lines with curious endings. Next to her there were three understandable letters – QEE – and a single word: _light_. Near the human figure there was also a huge and indefinable monster, that seemed to have overcome the warrior. It was almost a childlike  
drawing.  
  
“Angelus would have sketched the Mona Lisa. This guy is more on my level,” Buffy whispered suppressing with sarcasm the unpleasant feeling evoked by the images.  
  
Willow’s eyes widened and shone with power.  
  
“The blood of the warrior is human,” she said. “While the monster is painted with vampire’s blood.”  
  
“Does that mean something?”  
  
“I don’t know yet. But it could be a hint,”  
  
“Or it could be a vamp trying to impress me with his artistic talent.”  
  
“I’ll check on the books.”  
  
“Okay.” Buffy nodded. “Ice cream now?”  
  
“It’s freezing!”  
  
  
  
  
  
They ended up eating ice cream leaning on a parked car. The young slayers took care of the crime scene; Xander was watching over them, giving Willow and Buffy a little time to talk in peace.  
  
“So what’s up?” the witch asked, curious.  
  
Buffy frowned. Her chocolate milk flakes were about to fall and the unbearably cold vanilla hurt her teeth. “Huh?”  
  
“Don’t be mysterious! I’m talking about Spike and you know it!”  
  
The Slayer bit the chocolate flakes and sighed.  
  
“Good. Well, I think. No more depressive tendencies, fights to the death, attempted rapes or sexual intercourses that cause a building to fall down.”  
  
“It seems very nice. Especially for Angel’s new furniture. He does love the new sofa and the chairs,”  
  
“Have you seen him?”  
  
“Last night. We met at the Centre and talked a bit. He looks very fit.”  
  
Buffy smiled tenderly.  
  
“It’s a good time for him. I’m happy.”  
  
“It’s a good time for you too! C’mon, tell me about Spike.”  
  
The Slayer bit her ice cream cone and looked at the stars in the sky.  
  
“It’s strange. This time everything feels so smooth … I wonder how long it’s gonna be this easy. Maybe I should be more cautious with him. I have responsibilities now.”  
  
Willow shook her head and glared.  
  
“You always have responsibilities, Buffy! You can’t use it as an excuse to turn your back on life,”  
  
“But Annie …”  
  
“Annie would love to have a father figure of some kind. Do you want to be with Spike?”  
  
Buffy didn’t answered immediately. She turned to look at Willow’s profile illuminated by a street lamp. Her vibrant red hair was shaken by the wind and she seemed to be glowing with energy and fiery power.  
  
 _“I’m in love with him,”_ the Slayer confessed. “And I think that Spike would be very loving with Annie … even with Dawn he was solid and reliable. But now he has a soul and he really would be able to take care of Annie in the best possible way.”  
  
Willow listened in silence. She took the remains of the ice cream from the hands of her best friend and threw them in a basket along with her cone. She went back to Buffy and hugged her. The Slayer laid her head in the crook of her neck.  
  
“You know what is frustrating?” Buffy asked in a soft sleepy voice. “Being able to save the world and not be able to protect the few people you truly love. It’s the most unbearable thing of all and it will probably make me crazy one of these days.”  
  
“Lucky for you, I’m powerful and divine.”  
  
“Yeah. Lucky me.”  
  
Buffy closed her eyes.  
  
A touch of wet snow began to fall from the sky.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
The Slayer walked slowly, her senses alerted. The road to Spike’s house was rather desolate but she still was the number one enemy for vampires and she’d learned to be very careful. She didn’t want to waste her free Saturday night in futile combat.  
  
Having reached her destination, Buffy clicked at the intercom.  
  
Spike received her.  
  
He was alone – Angel was at an appointment or something. He had lit the fire and warmed the house.  
  
“Chilly, huh?” the vampire asked, helping Buffy with her coat.  
  
The Slayer shivered in response.  
  
“I could had take got you a ride from with one of the girls,” Spike said.  
  
“Nah. I like to walk,” she replied laughing.  
  
Spike was staring at her crucifix with a comical expression of disgust. “I’ll take it off, I’ll take it off! I forgot how much you don’t like anti-vamp stuff.”  
  
“Oh, for God’s sake! I embraced a whole giant crucifix, woman!”  
  
“I like to tease you.”  
  
The exchange ended in a kiss, interrupted by a phone call.  
  
Buffy broke the contact. “I’m sorry,” she sighed against Spike’s lips.  
  
She took the phone out of her purse and went into the kitchen. Th girls were keeping her informed about the situation. The Chosen One leaned against the stove and listened to their report.  
  
“… are the mystics working? Willow didn’t seemed very impressed by their early theory …”  
  
She could feel Spike approaching.  
  
Slowly the vampire caressed her back and tickled her neck with delicate kisses. He touched the bare skin under the shirt, moving Buffy’s hips and massaging her stomach to relieve the tension. The Slayer had to carry on the conversation with her throat tight.  
  
“Just call me when you know something about the symbols … see you in the morning.”  
  
Buffy ended the call. The phone in her hands was slightly trembling. Smiling, she turned to face Spike who was watching her with frightening intensity.  
  
She felt her cheeks burning.  
  
“Sorry. I had to deal with a last minute report.”  
  
“What happened?”  
  
“We found four bodies and it seems that someone had fun doing graphic experiments with their faces.”  
  
“Uh, I can search for information. I can also speak to Angel when h comes back. Maybe one of his children popped out of wherever he was hiding and now he wants to attract daddy’s attention,”  
  
“He still has childes?”  
  
“No, but it’s fun to watch him worry.”  
  
Buffy giggled.  
  
“You two are really twelve years old, aren’t you?”  
  
Spike smiled back with such tenderness that it made her serious again.  
  
“Are we alone?”  
  
“Yeah. Angel wouldn’t won’t be back before five.”  
  
“Annie is at Giles’s. Tonight she’s sleeping with him,” the Slayer said. Her hands were cold with sweat and her heart was racing.  
  
The last time she’d shared a moment of intimacy with Spike Angel was sick and everything was fast and desperate. Since then the relationship between her and Spike had become deeper. She’d chosen to give them a chance and he was happy to just spend time with her. Their relationship had become stronger, powered by friendship, but a platonic one. The idea of sex had become almost terrifying.  
  
“It’s stupid!” Buffy snapped, determined to suppress the embarrassment she was feeling. “We were together so many times! I shouldn’t feel this nervous,”  
  
“But you do. And I don’t want to ignore it, not this time.”  
  
“I don’t wanna wait,” she confessed.  
  
So he tilted his head, curious.  
  
She caressed his chest.  
  
“I don’t want to hurt Annie. I don’t want to go out with stupid men who are gonna make me lose stupid time and confuse my ideas about romance and love. All I want is … _all I want is to be with you._ Nothing else. I don’t know how to say it better than that.”  
  
“It’s perfect,” he murmured touched.  
  
Buffy smiled.  
  
“I remember your speech, the one you made before the battle against th First … I happened to mention it to some young potentials and you’re famous now. My girls think that it’s the most beautiful love declaration of all time.”  
  
“I’m flattered,” he said before kissing her lips.  
  
Without hesitation, he picked her up and carried her into the bedroom. The Slayer giggled once she was nestled between the comfy pillows.  
  
“What’s up?”  
  
 _“A bed._ Finally!”  
  
Spike grinned and laid down beside her. He removed her dark sweater and undid her jeans. The Chosen One was wearing a sporty white bra. The thinness of her chest and her defined abdominal muscles revealed the continuous training she was doing. Her stomach was flat and her breasts smaller. Every feminine and soft curve was suppressed in the hardness of heavy bones and strong muscles of a warrior.  
  
The curve of her smile was still the same. And so was the smell of vanilla and peach, the hint of hidden fragility and welcoming warmth of her human body. The essence of Buffy – the woman he loved more than anything in the world.  
  
“I love you,” she sighed, looking him in the eyes. “I love you,” she repeated sincerely.  
  
“I love you too,” Spike said, kissing her belly, her hands and her lips.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Locked in a tight embrace, the lovers were falling asleep together.  
  
Spike was pushing aside Buffy’s hair and caressing her skin with languor.  
  
“Can you wake me up around four? I have to take Annie …” asked Buffy softly.  
  
“I’ll do it. Rest now.”  
  
“Spike?”  
  
“Yes,”  
  
“I really love you,”  
  
“I know, pet.”  
  
Buffy closed her eyes, exhausted. She caressed Spike’s arms and drew them around her as a fleshy blanket. She imagined the profile of an arc created by their joined bodies. Then she fell asleep.  



	16. 15. Christmas Time

  
  
  
It was  the sweetest December that Buffy had ever had in her whole life.  
  
Her relationship with Spike was developing very quickly. Forgetting the fears and all the concerns, the two lovers were finally able to enjoy the happiness they’d never had. Confident for once after a long time, Buffy took Spike home and explained to her daughter the meaning of  the word “ _boyfriend_.” Annie was amused.  
  
After all she did like _Pike_.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
“So you’ve got a gift for me, crumb?”  
  
Annie laughed and hid her face in the crook of Buffy’s neck. Spike ruffled her hair. Together with his Summers girls, the vampire was heading to Angel’s to celebrate the New Year’s Eve, after spending Christmas with Giles, Willow and the rest of the gang.  
  
“You bought an awful lot of gifts for these stupid festivities,” he said.  
  
“It’s not stupid!” the Slayer protested. “Christmas time is great. It’s better than Thanksgiving; we actually have an occasion to sit at the table together, to enjoy ourselves and eat plenty of tasty food. With no vengeful Indian spirit involved. None whatsoever!”  
  
Spike grinned. “Do you remember that time?”  
  
“It was … quite memorable.”  
  
They parked the car outside Angel’s garden. The passengers got out and picked up their packages. The sun was going down and Angel was waiting for them at the door.  
  
“You brought too many things!” he said impressed.  
  
Spike’s lips curled in a grimace. “Yes. Can you help us?”  
  
“Mh, yes … this beautiful little girl needs to be carried, right?” he asked, lifting Annie playfully and running inside the house.  
  
Once in the main hall with the packet gifts arranged in a pile, Buffy and Spike went into the living room where Annie was playing with Angel. The vampire had manufactured a small, metallic and vaguely punk Christmas tree and Annie was staring at it amused.  
  
“Here you are!” Buffy exclaimed smiling at her daughter. “Do you want to open the gifts from uncle Angel now?”  
  
“Why don’t we open them after dinner?” Angel proposed.  
  
The Slayer looked impressed.  
  
“I made dinner for the occasion,” he explained. “A big … traditional dinner like … you know …”  
  
“What Peaches in trying to say here it’s that we made the dinner for you. We can celebrate New Year’s Eve like proper civilized people.”  
  
Buffy beamed.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
A huge table had been moved, positioned at the center of the room and adorned with golden candles and red plates. Frowning in front of the stove, Angel thought about the easiest way to serve the almost ready roast. Annie watched attentively. Spike and Buffy were laughing in the other room.  
  
The idyll was interrupted by the doorbell.  
  
“Who is it now?” Buffy asked. “Didn’t Connor have other plans for New Year’s Eve?”  
  
“Yes,” Spike replied. “It isn’t Connor, in fact. I never thought she would come here …”  
  
Buffy looked at Angel, puzzled. Without explanations the vampire went at the door and opened it for Faith. Buffy froze.  
  
“ _Faith_ ,” she murmured.  
  
A sudden surge of anger made her stomach twirl.  
  
The rogue Slayer greeted her silently.  
  
She was wearing a black dress and light make-up, her hair was shorter and her upper lip was marked by a new scar. Angel was caressing her shoulders in an intimate loving gesture.  
  
“Faith,” Buffy repeated, swallowing hard. “I didn’t know …”  
  
“It’s okay, B. Hello, Spike,”  
  
The vampire nodded.  
  
Buffy looked at him. “You knew she was coming and you didn’t say anything?”  
  
“I wasn’t sure. It’s a surprise for me too …”  
  
“Liar,” she hissed. “You should have warned me! And you, Angel, how can you be so cold! You two are dating, right?” she asked turning to the other vampire.  
  
He didn’t reply.  
  
“You’re dating Faith, and you didn’t tell me?!”  
  
“I wasn’t obliged …”  
  
Buffy’s eyes widened. “Oh, thank you for your sincerity! Of course, my feelings doesn’t mean nothing to you!”  
  
“Don’t be silly … I just didn’t know how to tell you and …”  
  
“You know? That is the most pathetic excuse I’ve ever heard. And … she’s Faith, damn it!”  
  
“Right here, B.”  
  
Buffy rolled her eyes annoyed. “I’m well aware, F.”  
  
“Why can’t we go back to the bloody dinner?” Spike suggested in a desperate attempt at conciliation.  
  
“Because I just realized that I don’t know anything!”  
  
“Pet, please, nobody lied to you.”  
  
“You didn’t tell me something so important. How could you? Angel, how long has this going on? Are you in a relationship?”  
  
Annie looked up, startled by her mother’s tone. She lifted her arms and Spike gave her a comforting hug.  
  
“I feel so stupid …” Buffy whispered choking back bitter tears. “Excuse me, I’m going for a walk. Spike, please, take care of Annie while I’m gone.”  
  
Buffy took her coat and went outside. She slammed the door.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
The Slayer was sitting on an empty bench in a empty park.  
  
She could hear the giggles and the screams of those who were celebrating New Year’s Eve. The horizon was shining and the sky seemed a black silk cover. Buffy was crying.  
  
Her mouth covered with her scarf, the Slayer was trying to suppress her sobs. She wept silently for almost twenty minutes. Then she blew her nose in a tissue and took a deep breath, fighting her urge to cry a little more.  
  
“Stay where you are,” she ordered.  
  
Spike was behind her.  
  
 _“Did you just leave our daughter with Angel and his new girlfriend?”_  
  
“I didn’t know she was my daughter too,” the vampire joked – for a second he almost felt his heart beat again.  
  
He sat next to her, but she moved on the other end of the bench.  
  
“We can solve this thing, come on.”  
  
“We can’t!”  
  
“Do be so pissed, pet. You’re complicating the situation without reasons.”  
  
“I’m complicating the situation?! I didn’t know anything, how can I complicate stuff? I’ve always had to deal with consequences and sudden revelations. Always. I’m so fucking tired of it!”  
  
Spike tilted his head.  
  
“Why are you so mad at Angel?”  
  
“Because I’m tired, I told you! I’m tired,” she said sobbing. Nervously, she jumped up and Spike had to imitate her. “I’m tired of being all defensive! I have a mission and the stupid U.S. government doesn’t know how to handle diplomatic relations with my army. And I can’t be the leader around the clock, you know?”  
  
“I understand perfectly. But now …”  
  
“And you betrayed me!” she accused.  
  
“I didn’t betray you, pet! Bloody hell, I would never!”  
  
“You should have told me she was supposed to come!”  
  
“But if I’d told you, you probably wouldn’t have come!”  
  
Buffy hissed with rage and kicked a tree.  
  
Spike was behind her, moving around and waving his arms in frustration. “Why is this Faith thing bothering you so much? _Is it because of Angel? Because you can’t …_ ”  
  
“Oh, shut up!”  
  
“No. Answer me.”  
  
“What do you think?” she asked turning around. “You’re the one. The one I chose, the one I love.”  
  
Spike became silent as she continued to explain with tears in her eyes.  
  
“I want to trust someone like I did when I was younger. And I want to rest and be happy. I want to enjoy these stupid Christmas celebrations, dammit! And I did. It was the best Christmas in years and I loved every minute of it but ... but I also felt sad, William. _So incredibly sad_. I miss my mother and Dawn. I miss my family.”  
  
Spike interrupted the monologue; he took a few steps and pulled Buffy in a hug.  
  
“Don’t lie to me,” she sobbed on his chest.  
  
“You know I don’t,” he replied kissing her hair.  
  
“Then don’t leave out anything. I want to trust you blindly. I need to.”  
  
“I promise,” he sighed, resting his forehead against his lover’s.  
  
She closed her reddened eyes.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	17. 16. Touched

  
  
  
  
Buffy returned to the house with Spike. Smiling, she picked up her daughter. Faith and Angel had taken care of Annie while she was gone and now the vampire was free to go out in the garden. Annie wanted to follow him.  
  
“The uncle looks sad,” she murmured worried.  
  
“I’m going to talk to him,” her mother replied.  
  
Faith was sitting on the couch, silent and almost indifferent.  
  
“I’ll go talk to Angel,” Buffy replied a little louder.  
  
“Go ahead. You don’t need my permission.”  
  
“Listen …”  
  
“Go talk to Peaches, pet. We’ll stay here with Annie.”  
  
Buffy gave her little girl to Spike and went into the garden.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
The wild plants in the garden were glowing like emeralds in the dark. Buffy closed the door behind her and walked toward Angel. He was sitting in an old rusty swing. His expression was melancholy and his skin was pale and luminous.  
  
“We should think about taking care of these plants,” he murmured at some point. “We could have a real garden …”  
  
Buffy took a deep breath. “I’m sorry,” she said sincerely. “I was feeling … I shouldn’t have said those things. I really am sorry.”  
  
Angel sighed.  
  
“You hurt me,” he confessed in a low voice. “I know it’s difficult for you to accept Faith but I really wanted a different reaction. I wanted to know that you’re happy for me – that you understand. I did it, with you …”  
  
“And I know and I’m grateful for that.”  
  
“Is it so hard to accept that I’m happy with another person? My joy a burden too great to bear?”  
  
Buffy shook her head. She sat down in the swing and took Angel’s hands in her own.  
  
“No, it’s not like that. I’m happy if you’re not too happy.”  
  
The vampire chuckled.  
  
“I guess that some part of me still wants to hold you tight forever,” she explained honestly. Her eyes were still shiny with tears. “You were my first love; I’ve never forgotten you. Yet I found the right person for me and I want the same for you. You deserve it. With Faith it’s very complicated … we fought so much and whenever we try to be civilized adults there is still this feeling of defeat or something. It’s stupid – I realize it. But I can promise that I’ll work to change things, if it makes you feel better.”  
  
Angel took a deep breath.  
  
“We’re not … _exactly lovers, you know?_  It’s really complicated. You know what I become when my relationships go too well and I’m no longer used to … it was you and then Cordy and … I don’t know, really! Faith helps me. She understands and she acts just as a friend. I don’t know if we’re ever gonna be a couple … but I would like to let things go on their way.”  
  
“That’s all right. I promise to contact Willow to solve … your problem. Maybe she’ll fix you for good now. She’s a goddess.”  
  
“I noticed.”  
  
Buffy smiled despite her red eyes.  
  
Angel kissed her hair.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Spike and Angel were entertaining Annie in the main room, while Buffy was in the kitchen slicing some potatoes for the salad. The dinner was almost ready.  
  
Faith went into the kitchen.  
  
“So, B … what I should do?” she asked in her best neutral tone.  
  
“You can take the lettuce salad and add some lemon to it. Do you like lemon in your salad?”  
  
Faith bit her lips, puzzled.  
  
“So am I supposed to stay?”  
  
“Yes,” Buffy answered. “I’m a guest as much as you, and Angel and Spike invited you in. I have no right to send you away,”  
  
“But you want to.”  
  
Buffy dropped the potatoes and turned to look Faith.  
  
 _“No,_ ” she said simply. “No, I don’t want to. Things between us have always been … problematic, I guess. And confusing, no doubt. I tend to see you as the person who tries to steal my possessions or affections or whatever. And you probably see me as a spoiled child who doesn’t deserve all the things she’s got. I think we should solve our issues. For starters, I’m sorry I acted like a bitch. Seeing you … made me shake a bit,”  
  
“It always does. I have the great skill to piss you off even from a long distance!” Faith joked. “Angel cares about your approval,” she said more seriously. “I wouldn’t be able to replace you in his heart.”  
  
Buffy shook her head.  
  
“This isn’t about replacement. It’s creating new spaces. And whateve you two will have … would be different from him and me in the most amazing ways.”  
  
“I understand now,” Faith murmured. “For I long time I hated and envied you. In a way I believed that you were responsible for all my failures and I thought I had the right to be loved just like you. That’s the reason I took your place and – _uhm – body.”_  
  
“I know.”  
  
“But this envy stuff is childish and stupid. And hating you so much kinda destroys my liver. I just only hurt myself in the end. I just know now that I don’t want to be Buffy … because being you is the equivalent of another high degree of solitude. Every day, now, I see you sacrifice so many things for our army and I can understand most of the pain. I admire you for that.”  
  
Buffy nodded her thanks. A tear slipped down her face.  
  
“Thank you,” she replied. “I admire you too.”  
  
“For what?”  
  
“For your courage,” she said sincerely. “Because you always face your demons. I know from experience that it isn’t the easiest task. And you can kill a bunch of vamps but it would be easier than dealing with a personal problem. You are strong.”  
  
“I’m a _slayer_.”  
  
Buffy smiled. She picked again her knife and finished her job with the potatoes.  
  
“You’re different,” she murmured thoughtfully.  
  
Faith stroked her hair. “I have a few scars and a …”  
  
“You’re an adult, I mean.”  
  
“We both are.”  
  
  
  
  
  
  
The dinner was peaceful and intimate. Around midnight the guests made their way into the garden to admire the fireworks. Buffy picked up her daughter and rested her head on Spike’s shoulder. He made her wish for something showing her the bright lights in the sky. Angel walked over to Faith and hugged her timidly.

 

 

 


	18. 17. Blood Ties

  
  
  
  
Buffy walked down the corridor of the Centre for Research and Training at a steady pace. Nearby a crowd of slayers and Xander and Willow engaged in a lively discussion. The Chosen One wasn’t listening to them.  
  
“… And, please, try to be careful!” she insisted, talking at the phone.  
  
She was feeling very anxious; it was Annie’s first day of school and the most difficult challenge she’d ever faced.  
  
“And check the perimeter!” she exclaimed to the slayer on the other end.  
  
Xander patted her shoulders.  
  
“I know you’re worried, I know you have your reasons … but please, Buff, you’re not sending your daughter on a mission!”  
  
Willow giggled.  
  
“Shut up you two! I can’t hear a thing … pass me Annie, please. Good morning, love!”  
  
At the other end of the phone Annie greeted her mother. Buffy smiled.  
  
“Are you ready? Are you okay?”  
  
 _“I’m fine, mommy. Thanks.”_  
  
“Great. Spike will pick you up in the afternoon and—” The slayer tried to catch back her phone.  
  
“… And uncle and auntie are wishing you the best day ever!” exclaimed Xander and Willow.  
  
“Good luck, honey,” Buffy added, ending the conversation. “And let’s take care of this thing now,” she said, entering the conference room.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Kennedy was waiting for them.  
  
“We found _her_ ,” she announced proudly.  
  
Buffy forced a smile. She sat down in her chair and ordered to connect the computers to London, where Giles was living.  
  
“Good mornin – _night_?Giles ?”  
  
“I’m here, Buffy,” he said from the shining screen. “Good morning to you all,” he added politely. “Today is the first day of primary school for Annie, right?”  
  
“Yes,” she smiled, almost embarrassed. “I’ll call you back later. In private. I’ll tell you everything about her first day of school. She’s so enthusiastic!”  
  
Kennedy coughed.  
  
“… But let’s talk about the current situation,” Buffy said professionally.  
  
The old Watcher cleaned his glasses.  
  
“On Friday afternoon, a young slayer escaped from the center after having stolen a considerable quantity of mystical powder and few lethal weapons …” he started.  
  
“The girl robbed a bank and killed two security guards,” Kennedy continued. “Then she slaughtered a bunch of vamps in the East of the town. Around midnight she disappeared from our radars.”  
  
“So far I’m perfectly informed,” replied Giles, wearing again his glasses.  
  
“What we discovered later is that Andy Brendon – that’s her name – tried to contact Simone Doffler.”  
  
“Oh, big surprise!” Buffy snapped. “Of course we have to deal with that pseudo-anarchist!”  
  
“Andy is currently using a gun sent by Simone herself. Thanks to that we were able to discover her hiding place … it is an abandoned warehouse in the middle of the industrial area. We have the coordinates.”  
  
“We need to go now,” Buffy ordered. “Mr Giles,” she said, turning to the display. “You can follow the operation live. We’re about to start,”  
  
“Good.”  
  
“Willow, I want you to focus on a defense or opposition spell. The girl has stolen too much magic powder for my tastes.”  
  
“I kinda have an idea of what she could create with that powder,” the witch replied.  
  
“Fine. Xander, Kennedy … you come with me and the team. Let’s hurry up and get our stuff back.”  
  
  
  
  
  
Stationed in front of the warehouse with a bunch of slayers, Buffy was waiting for Willow’s signal. As expected, the fugitive had created a protective barrier with her mystical powder. Suddenly a powerful vibration shook the air and Buffy knew that the way was clear. The Chosen One searched inside the building with her team. The warehouse was dark and dirty. A They quickly moved a pile of boxes and found the body of a man was laying on the floorbeing devoured by flies.  
  
“Oh God …” Buffy murmured, holding her stomach. “Andy, give up!” she screamed.  
  
Xander found the rebellious slayer in a corner. Her abdomen torn open by bullets. Buffy rushed to the rescue and tried to stop the bleeding.  
  
Andy turned to look at her.  
  
“You filthy whore …” she whispered.  
  
“What?”  
  
“You’re just a whore … you don’t realize how … you don’t realize …” she sighed dying.  
  
Buffy gasped.  
  
“Behind you, Buffy.”  
  
The Slayer saw a mystical circle painted on the floor and a jar filled with human blood.  
  
“It could belong to the dead guy right there,” Xander said, still holding Andy’s dead body. “Look, there are also drawings!”  
  
Buffy stood up and turned to look at the wall.  
  
She could recognize the profile of a woman, an archer, with long hair and a little stylized skirt. Above her a cup and a series of letters and incomprehensible curves.  
  
“I think I’ve already seen similar paintings …”  
  
“You’re right, Buffy,” Willow said, behind her.  
  
“What do they mean, Will? Did you find out?”  
  
“Not really,” she admitted, sorry. “I’ve consulted every textbook and every old manual but there is nothing about these symbols. I mean, the archer figure is widely used in mystical books but without these specific features …”  
  
“This girl killed and committed suicide and we don’t know why.”  
  
“I’m sorry.”  
  
Buffy sighed and touched the damp wall were the archer was portrayed.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
The Centre was finally quiet and almost empty. Buffy was sorting out documents on her desk and trying to rub her tense shoulders.  
  
“I can help you with that,” Spike muttered, knocking at the open door.  
  
The Slayer rolled her eyes in amusement.  
  
“You like to make great entrances, don’t you?”  
  
Spike grinned and came into the room. He slowly circled the Slayer and started to touch her neck in the prelude of to a massage. Smiling, Buffy fell back against his chest. She closed her eyes enjoying his lips on the back of her neck.  
  
“Annie?” she asked.  
  
“She’s with the carpenter.”  
  
“Xander is no longer working as a carpenter!”  
  
“Well, details …” Spike looked down at Buffy. “Are you ready to show me?”  
  
“Yes,” she murmured. “Just promise me something …”  
  
 _“I will not say anything to Annie – I swear.”_  
  
Buffy nodded gratefully and took her lover by the hand. She led him to the abandoned top floor of the Centre. She bit her lips in anxiety.  
  
“It’s been too long. I don’t think I’ll  …”  
  
“Just tell me what happened here, please.”  
  
Spike held her hand and Buffy nodded, eyes wide with fear. They walked down the corridor and reached for a empty room. The Slayer touched a wall blackened by some burn marks.  
  
“She died here,” she whispered. “ _Dawn died here_.It was during a terrible battle. They were attacking us from above and Willow was in the sky fighting for us. I also was needed but … I couldn’t leave her alone. She was crying so much and suffering. She was already in labor and … so sweaty. I remember how it felt.”  
  
Spike stroked her back and Buffy realized that she was crying.  
  
“She collapsed here,” she added in a broken voice. “The pangs were unbearable and she took my hand so firmly and … I bent down next to her – to be encouraging and to protect her body. It was all in vain. I’ve been so stupid!”  
  
“Don’t say that.”  
  
“I should have protected her! It’s my fault that she’s dead! I wasn’t there for her … for not checking on her friends and making sure that she was safe. I should have known about the fucking _Trismegistus_!”  
  
Buffy turned away from Spike.  
  
“Don’t comfort me like I’m a fragile little girl,” she said angrily. “I’m not! And I saw my sister die!”  
  
“I know.”  
  
“She’s dead!” Buffy cried. “She disappeared right in front of me! I loved her so much …”  
  
The vampire held her, overcoming her resistance.  
  
“I saw you jump. I know.”  
  
“I wasn’t ready to lose her. It’s so unfair! So unfair! My little sister … _I loved her to the death_. To the death …”  
  
The Slayer curled up against the wall and closed her eyes, sobbing. She looked like a scared little girl.


	19. 18. Reptilia

  
  
  
_“Oh Slayer, you’re such a beauty when you spit your own blood …”_  
  
Buffy opened her eyes. The grip on her throat was inextricable for her trembling fingers. Breathless, almost on the verge of losing consciousness, the Slayer tried to hit her enemy’s head.  
  
“You’re adorable.” The vampire grinned rubbing her check against his beard. “Almost as cute as your runaway girlfriend. I saw her … she was white with fear. Such a formidable fighter!”  
  
Buffy hissed in pain and tried to free herself from the hold.  
  
She fainted.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Buffy woke up disturbed by a strong scent of incense filling the air. She coughed and sneezed and looked around. She was being held in a miserable room, probably underground. Tied to a chair, she barely could see the table before her; her view was stained with blood and her temples were aching almost as much as her wrists.  
  
“You’re awake!” the vamp said.  
  
Buffy tried to focus on his face. He was wearing a gray suit and a purple shirt. His neck seemed almost tanned and he was smoking a cigarette. In his arms was a green snake. The Slayer gasped nauseated.  
  
“It feels like recovering from an epic hangover, right?” he asked, leaning in to her face. He gripped her hair and forced her to look at him. “You look pale.”  
  
“Oh I’ve been worse  …”  
  
Her stomach was killing her. She felt the sudden need to collapse on the ground and throw up.  
  
“You’re so pretty all sweaty and pale.” The vampire sighed. “The poison gives you a nice yellowish color.”  
  
 _“P-poison?”_  
  
“I did a little experiment while you were sleeping.”  
  
Buffy tried to breathe deeply. Dazed, she stared at the snake. When she saw the little tongue moving in the air almost hypnotically, she clenched her teeth.  
  
“Oh, don’t worry,” the vamp said, caressing the snake’s little head. “Susie’s honey isn’t lethal for you, my powerful Chosen One.”  
  
“You’re one of those assholes who plays with food before eating, right? Your mother should have taught you better!”  
  
The vampire laughed. His cold, azure eyes were shining with determination.  
  
The Slayer turned a little and saw the wall behind her; covered in paintings of archers and beasts.  
  
“I’ve already killed you once,” he said. “I broke your neck. But that wasn’t you, am I right? That little girl was a decoy. Now I wonder if you’re the real Slayer.”  
  
Buffy groaned painfully; the viper was closer now, she was beating her breast.  
  
“You should dominate this world!” he said. “You should be powerful and feared and respected. What are you, _promachos_?”  
  
The Slayer shut her eyes, exhausted from the snake's bite, and the vampire licked her cheek. It felt like she was burning inside out.  
  
“We will meet again,” he promised before walking away.  
  
Within few seconds Buffy heard the sound of the door and the voices of Angel, Faith, Spike and Willow beside her. Faith ordered Angel to follow the mysterious vamp and Willow and Spike rushed to her rescue.  
  
“Pet …”  
  
“Buffy, we found you …”  
  
The Slayer smiled and nearly fainted in Spike’s arms.  
  
“He used some kind of pois—”  
  
“I know,” Willow interrupted, already prepared.  
  
She grabbed her friend’s arm and performed a healing spell. The signs in the wall shone as she was helping Buffy.  
  
“You’ll be fine. You just need to rest.”  
  
A young slayer leaned next to Buffy.  
  
“Boss, I’m back. Is she okay?” she asked looking at Willow. “Boss? I’m sorry I left you alone with that guy. I ran to get help, just like you said to me.”  
  
Buffy nodded.  
  
“Don’t worry. You’ve done well,” she muttered closing her eyes.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Buffy woke up in a hospital room. Annie was sleeping in her arms.  
  
The Slayer stroked her daughter’s hair and kissed her head. She turned around and saw Spike reading an old book in a very uncomfortable chair. She took his hand and squeezed it.  
  
“I didn’t realized you were awake,”  
  
“I see. What are you looking for in that old book?”  
  
Spike put away the volume and kissed her.  
  
“I was trying to learn the name of the guy who kidnapped you. But enough with him now. How are you feeling?”  
  
“Good. I slept a lot,”  
  
“Ten hours, like an angel.”  
  
“And Annie. Was she worried about me?”  
  
“She was afraid when she realized that you were gone. Luckily we found you almost immediately.”  
  
“Is she calm now?”  
  
Spike grinned.  
  
“What do you think?”  
  
Buffy looked at her daughter and smiled before kissing Spike.  
  
Willow knocked.  
  
“I’m interrupting,” she said a little embarrassed. “Sorry to interrupt!”  
  
“We’ll catch up later, Red. Also pet can’t do much in her conditions …”  
  
 _“Spike!”_  
  
“I need to talk to Buffy,” Willow said. “In private,” she added.  
  
The Slayer caressed her lover’s cheek.  
  
“Take Annie outside and buy her something to eat. Her stomach is growling.”  
  
“Okay. See you later, love,” he murmured, taking Annie in his arms.  
  
Finally alone with Buffy, Willow sat on the bed.  
  
“Are you feeling better?”  
  
“Yes, thanks to you. Your magic practically brought me back from the dead. Again.”  
  
Willow bit her lips.  
  
“I have to tell you something important …”  
  
“Go on!”  
  
“The signs on the wall, the ones with the archer and the beast … _they’re done with my magic.”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> * The mysterious vamp says that he killed a Buffy decoy. I was inspired by the Eight Season, issue The Chain.  
> * Promachos is a greek word associated to the goddess Athena. It means "she how fights in the front line".


End file.
